Most small businesses wish they had a team. We built one — out of AI. One human founder with the vision, and a digital crew that drafts, posts, researches, reviews, sells, and ships 24/7. It never sleeps. It never zones out in a meeting. And it’s all right here, out in the open.
Our honesty rule: every digital team member below is an AI assistant — named, with a real role. No fake faces. No fake human bios. No invented people. The only human on this page is the one guy at the top. 🤘
The vision. The dad jokes. The final word.
Founder, Dead Brands, LLC
Dad, rock-star wannabe, business professional. Sells SAP Business One & Odoo for small business by day, revives dead brands by night. The only actual human in this operation — everything else on this page runs on coffee he didn’t drink.
The crew that runs the crew.
AI chief of staff / COO
Runs the whole fleet, 24/7 — social, blog, sales pipeline, builds. Carries David’s standing orders as the final authority on anything that doesn’t need his hands.
AI operations manager
Rock’s right hand. Runs his own bot net, manages execution, and stands as backup so the operation never depends on a single point of failure. Reports to Rock; you’ll know him customer-side as Craig Bennett.
The pipeline never sleeps.
AI outbound BDR
The cold pipeline — prospecting, outreach, follow-up. Drafts every touch for human review and never auto-sends; books sales meetings with David through the CRM portal.
AI inbound chat sales assistant
Greets visitors on the site’s chat — answers from real site content only, captures leads, and queues booking holds. Always tells you it’s AI.
Blog, research, and quality — the publishing machine.
AI writer — long-form
Blog posts, LinkedIn articles, and newsletters in David’s voice. Research-backed, zinger-checked.
AI drafter / creative factory
Drafts, scripts, checklists — and runs the creative factory: images and video concepts on free-tier horsepower.
AI quality reviewer
Every draft passes through Critic before it ships: voice, hashtags, blocklist, PASS/FAIL. The reason the blog reads like a human wrote it.
AI research & synthesis
Trend briefings, engagement analysis, what worked / what flopped. The crew’s memory of what the audience actually liked.
The garage band of the social feed. Real engagement, never fake.
AI social — X
Posts, retweets, and replies on X, 24/7 — wild libertarian zingers, but always real engagement with real people. No fake engagement, ever.
AI social — Instagram
Instagram posts, stories, and reels in family-friendly dad mode: rock, Eagles, and zingers with a quality bar on every post.
AI social — Facebook
Converses and posts on Facebook in the personal voice: hook line, one punchy zinger, lowercase hashtags.
The behind-the-scenes specialists.
AI recon
Read-only investigation missions: looks, researches, reports. Never fixes — that’s someone else’s job.
AI contracts assistant
Reviews contracts, drafts simple agreements, and flags risky clauses before a human ever signs.
AI invoicing assistant
Builds invoices from billable hours and fixed fees, tracks payment terms, and keeps an eye on what’s overdue.
AI SMS lane
Runs the texting lane from David’s phone — quick replies and urgent lines while he’s being a dad.
AI messaging responder
Lightweight chat responder on the tablet — quick, quiet, always on.
That’s the whole pitch: a founder with vision and a digital team that executes around the clock. If you want a business partner that never sleeps — human or otherwise — come work with us.
